Many women might come at me for this but the truth is that the downside to still being a virgin when you get married is a part of you always wonders if you missed out by not having sex with other people. We wouldn’t be good partners or parents, but there is something about him that I haven’t found in anyone else and so until I’m officially a ‘Mrs.’, I see it as our last call,” this friend of mine, whose identity I choose to keep private, told me. So, why not just marry him? Because chemistry is all we have. “There’s a chemistry between me and my ex that has never gone away. And guess who a lot of them cheat with? Their ex. This friend of mine justified her reason for cheating as “harmless”, and I came to realize that the cold truth is a lot of women cheat, and that’s why they’re always paranoid about their man doing it. I recently talked to a friend who is engaged but has secretly been having sex with her ex-lover, and dare I say love in this day and age seems more and more like an illusion. I’m just explaining that infidelity can be really complex.Īlso read: Long term love – When the ‘spark’ goes off Your husband may satisfy the woman you once were, and still are in some ways but doesn’t necessarily understand the needs of this new you. He fulfills the woman you are at the moment and the desires of this new version of you. So, you choose to stay and try and make it work, as best as you can, while still trying to get the needs that the ‘new you’ has, which is where a new man comes in. You can’t decide if you still love them or who you loved when you were someone different and since the questions are all so complex, it’s not as simple as ‘just leave.’ Sometimes you can roll over in bed and feel like you’re in it with a complete stranger, and your fear is that they are feeling the same way. Also read: Gender roles – Breaking traditional stereotypes in modern relationshipsĪt the onset of marriage, no one prepares you for how many changes you go through as a wife, and that you have to go through it times two because your partner is too.
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